Two days ago was the Feast of St. Aloysius...i will include a link below to read about his short life. The marvelous thing about the lives of saints is they include so many reminders....encouraging ideas and works....they are our role models...because they were sinners just like us, that made it to become the saints they were created to be!....They made Jesus Christ the Center of their lives and therefore succeeded in attaining Heaven.
A dear friend in Christ told me to read St. Aloysius' letter to his Mom which he wrote at the age of 23 when dying of the plague which he contracted while caring for those ill with the sickness. This letter is a reminder of the place of respect and love and honor a Mother should have (remember a Father too deserves this also)....the interesting thing is his parents fought him and gave him great grief in seeking a religious life....and even then on his deathbed, he thinks of her....God does not specify to honor our parents if they are perfect....just to honor them......and forgiveness is not an option as a Christian or with our parents.... The Gospel yesterday at Mass clearly stated that:
"If you forgive others their transgressions,
your heavenly Father will forgive you.
But if you do not forgive others,
neither will your Father forgive your transgressions."
This is a great reminder in our need to evaluate if we honor our mothers and fathers..our grandfathers and grandmothers....great grandmothers and great grandfathers (if we are so blessed to have them still with us on earth)....not just by saying how great they are or bragging that we have them .........but by bringing dignity to their lives and spending quality time while they are alive...those blessed with long life are the most forgotten and lonely even with great care from someone......i know this first hand as a full time caregiver for my 93 yr old Mom (and my Dad before her) and as a spiritual director for many. What sad stories i have heard! i find some people, even in families, are afraid and bored by the elderly and totally oblivious to their needs...even ashamed sometimes and just fearful they will die (as we all will someday). Many shy away from calling or visiting regularly....contact is minimal....for some only a few times a yr but "they will surely come when the funeral arrives", and those are the words from the elders themselves. What's the use of having grandchildren and great grandchildren, nieces and nephews, friends and other relatives etc. when you never get to see them or really know them even when they live close.....a very sad reality in many families today. With cell phones there is absolutely no excuse for someone not receiving calls.... Often the elderly give out their money, that they usually don't have to give, to these family/friends when they do come visit. They feel they have to buy the love of their visitors and everyone takes from them never thinking of the reality of their expenses and how money dwindles for elderly so quickly. i remember a dear homemaker who cared for the elderly. One day one of her patients gave her $100 after she had already been paid . She brought the money to the caregiver and said, "Please put this back in her savings for her bills." This homemaker understood how older people forget their present financial situation and their expenses and obviously this homemaker had experienced this with many others she cared for. God bless her honesty and not taking advantage of her patients.
To love and care for anyone...children...the sick...the elderly demands great faith, commitment, love, patience and creativity to make these people priority in our lives purely for love with no underhanded motive. We often go out and do alot of volunteering for multitudes, and forget those in our own family circles who would so benefit from more of our time and care. People...human beings... need to always come before things...events...sports....social status... The rewards of living with this proper order are too many to count and offer us a clear conscience that money can't buy...Let's all evaluate our lives after reading St. Aloysius' letter to his Mom and see where we can become more generous, creative, sincere and charitable with our elders....i remember clearly my parents example to us with my Father's Mother who was the only grandparent i knew....They always visited and called daily and were extremely generous financially with her every time they went over...That is the way it is suppose to be! We take care of the old-timers who once took care of us!
St. Aloysius' letter to his Mom touched my Mom and i so deeply..we had a very beautiful and touching experience after reading this most glorious letter...how grateful i am for that....first how he addresses her, "Most honorable lady"....this is how every mother should be addressed....and how he ends the letter, "with respect and love you deserve from a son".....A reminder to mothers of their dignity, a reminder to children how to honor a mother...and then the content in the middle addresses the joy of death....preparing to cross over to Eternal Life. So well put in this letter, one cannot grieve the same after reading it when thinking of those who have passed on in faith....or even look at death the same again.
When i was younger in high school i went to all different Christian churches to experience their worship. When a young local school boy died i went to the funeral and was taken back....they all wore white and were playing guitars and singing at the wake...when i asked why, they said this is a joyful occasion...he has gone to Heaven to be with God....i will never forget that experience....coming from an Italian Catholic traditional background where we mourned and wore black..... it was my Baptist friends who taught me how to really deal with death..."Roll back the stone, he is not dead!!!!!!!!!!..."
Let us read and ask God to speak thru St. Aloysius' letter to us personally and see if there is something to apply and put into practice in our lives that is new.
so sorry i haven't written in a while....sickness in my immediate family demanded my full attention for a time...i will try to write more often...as many have requested....til next time....be assured of my continued prayers!
PS: A friend of mine had her sister who never married and cared for both their mother and father. i met this friend after her father had died and her sister continued caring for her Mom. i reminded this friend to reach out and thank her sister for all she did. To be more active in their lives and assist her sister asking how she could help. To send cards...flowers...bring gifts...get her to go out for a massage etc....for this one child took on the job for all three children giving up everything. If you have a caregiver in your family or friends who are sacrificing all to care for the elders in your circle...honor them...be good to them...thank them...shower them with kind acts of love and mercy for they are carrying the job many should be doing. And ask how you can help them .
Another elder friend of my family is ill right now and i saw him in church with one of his daughters. i honored her for caring for her Dad who needed her help at this time. She said i am not doing this alone....we, my sisters and i , are rotating caring for him....that is beautiful! Sharing equal weight in the care of a parent...something for us to meditate on....
There is no more evident sign that anyone is a saint and of the number of the elect, than to see him leading a good life and at the same time a prey to desolation, suffering, and trials.
-- Saint Aloysius Gonzaga
his bio...
www.catholic.org/saints/saint.php?saint_id=15
www.staloysiushickory.org/about/saint-aloysius-our-patron-saint
letter to his mother: scroll down below picture to see it....
www.crossroadsinitiative.com/media/articles/saint-aloysius-gonzaga-letter-to-his-mother/
