My Father's 4th Anniversary of His Passing to Heaven was this week. Many many people circulated pictures, comments and videos of Dad which was nice....made lots of comments about him too ....and that was nice too...but the fact is he is on the Other Side....and to put lots of emotions on social media is okay, but Mom and Dad always had a saying...."Do for the people while they are alive!"...."Do for others while they live!"....i know what my Dad would say to all of us....'My wife lives, and is alone alot. My wife lives and many never call or visit. Don't wallow in my passing or in emotional ties with me. Our time has passed....Go visit my widow, call her, sit with her, love and caress her while she lives! Don't wait until she is gone to weep bitterly over her casket or 4 yrs after on an anniversary'. In some cases sometimes strangers are more sensitive to these things than one's own close family/friend circle in today's world. i find that odd.
i saw a women in her late 80's in church sitting with her 20 yr old granddaughter from out of town. i was sooo happy to see the two of them together and complimented that. Her granddaughter said "of course!....we all are always with her." The Elder answered with a smile," they are all at my house every day angie, every single day." i told her don't ever complain about that, for my Mom would give millions of dollars to have that problem. How marvelous is that!...How wonderful that a family rallies their elders like that even though they all live at least an hour away. That's how it was with my grandma....great memories of visiting and calling from childhood thru and including our adulthood. Our parents gave us good example in caring and loving and including the elders.
Well, i write this for a two fold reason...if you have elders in your life, make it priority to call and visit often. Be creative in your ideas to show your love for them....cards, letters, calls, skype, teach them art, music, language, play games, make a meal that adheres to their diet, flowers, fruit baskets, projects....use the computer to gather a million other ideas....there are no limits to all the possibilities of enriching the lives of others if we get creative. With cell phones there is no excuse for not taking 1-2 minutes to bring a smile to their face. Rotate a schedule so that each week they look forward to a visit from a different family member and this can ease the pressure of needing to visit too frequently if your schedule does not permit. Love is important and sitting with someone and just laughing and talking or crying is healthy for them and for us as well. You know people often feel sorry for a person who is in a nursing home thinking those living in their own home have it better. In many ways those at home do have it better, but the loneliness is excruciating even with a full time caretaking family member and they are fully aware that they are forgotten already and that at their funeral is when most will come....when it is too late. Remember they are not ignorant and they know when they don't mean anything to others. Don't limit your visiting to only three times a yr for holidays. Anyone can just do that. Become a regular part of their lives. A reminder, our children and grandchildren are watching how we care for the elders in our lives....soon enough we will all be elders and hopefully our example will encourage our children and their children to be around and be part of the life of their grandparents and great grandparents and other elders. i am extremely aware of the gift my family has in having my 93 yr old Mom with us. Many would have given thousands to have their parents/grandparents live that long. So let's all take some inventory and see how we can do this better....Even if you don't feel close to an elder or they were not the best person to you, we, who are called to the Gospel, are called to minister to all and try to leave our mark/example and even to teach the elders...yes, they are still here like us to learn...and learning to Love is the main lesson in this world for you, me and everyone.
My second reason for this blog is to insure social media has its place. Evaluate the time you are on the phone, computer, social sites etc and see if you can cut back and instead visit and love on the elders, disabled in your circles. We do have time for others, we just have to make it our priority. Sadly sports and social events and careers have over riden the nurturing and caring of God, celebrating Sabbath and the family.
til next time....meditate on Sirach 3:1-16
1Children, listen to me, your father;
act accordingly, that you may be safe.
2For the Lord sets a father in honor over his children
and confirms a mother’s authority over her sons.
3Those who honor their father atone for sins;
4they store up riches who respect their mother.
5Those who honor their father will have joy in their own children,
and when they pray they are heard.
6Those who respect their father will live a long life;
those who obey the Lord honor their mother.
7Those who fear the Lord honor their father,
and serve their parents as masters.
8In word and deed honor your father,
that all blessings may come to you.
9A father’s blessing gives a person firm roots,
but a mother’s curse uproots the growing plant.
10Do not glory in your father’s disgrace,
for that is no glory to you!
11A father’s glory is glory also for oneself;
they multiply sin who demean their mother.
12My son, be steadfast in honoring your father;
do not grieve him as long as he lives.
13Even if his mind fails, be considerate of him;
do not revile him because you are in your prime.
14Kindness to a father will not be forgotten;
it will serve as a sin offering—it will take lasting root.
15In time of trouble it will be recalled to your advantage,
like warmth upon frost it will melt away your sins.
16Those who neglect their father are like blasphemers;
those who provoke their mother are accursed by their Creator.
